Ways to cum at the end of a wank (ranked by hotness)

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Hi, sorry, excuse me, yeah sorry to bother you. It’s just I’ve been thinking quite a lot lately about all the different ways to cum at the end of a wank, and I thought/hoped you might be interested in this list. I have ranked all the possible spaff-styles in order of how hot they are for me to see/imagine. Before I begin, it’s important to note that every single one of these methods is hot: the baseline here is not ‘ not hot’, the baseline is ‘let me watch you do it and my cunt will gush,’ but for what it’s worth, here they are in order. Into a sock Functional, deliberate, kinda scuzzy: A+ Into a tissue Likewise with the functional, though this time we’re turning up the dial on ‘deliberate’ towards ‘measured’ and ‘controlled’ in a way that, frankly, is a kink in and of itself. I once watched a dude perform the perfect Platonic ideal of post-wank tissue-jizzing, and I still think about it quite frequently to this day. He got up partway through an extremely vigorous and visually-pleasing wank – with a raging, twitching, red-tinged boner – and go get tissues which he then neatly folded into a perfect square before returning to beating at his cock. A++, gimme. Into a cum rag You… own a specific rag (or rags) specifically to cum in at the end of a wank? This piece of cloth is something you have selected (or purchased ?!) specifically for this purpose, and hidden in a drawer by your computer/bed so it’s ready for use whenever you are horny? Unngh . You, my friend, are saving the planet and also melting my knickers. A+++, gold star. Up the inside of your t-shirt You dirty fucker, you. Can’t be bothered to get a tissue/cum rag, so you just point your dick up inside your t-shirt and spaff all over your chest? Filthy. Disgraceful. Help yourself to twelve gold stars and a chocolate chip cookie. Inside your pants Much like ‘t-shirt’ above, just tucking the tip of your dick inside your underwear so you can spunk inside it is the epitome of filth. In this case, though, it’s made even hotter by the fact that… God I don’t know if I can type this without wanking… when you come inside your pants… unngh… the spunk squirts right against the fabric and makes a big wet patch. Hotter than hellfire, have a medal. All over your stomach and chest As the good song says: LET IT GO. Everywhere. All over yourself. Just let rip, go on: splatter yourself in cum. Now take a bow, you have achieved something so hot that I can only ever commit to watching someone do it in real life if my sex toys are easily to hand so I can run off for a wank of my own. Spraying everywhere including your own face You’re a dirty slut. And hey, so am I! Have a high five, you filthy fucker. Deliberately trying to spray it into your own mouth Tastes good , doesn’t it? Fuck yeah. The power with which you spray it and the surprised/delighted/slightly-ashamed-but-in-a-hot-way look you might get if a bit lands in your eye and you feel like one of those bukakke heroes you were just watching in porn… oh yeah. Well done. This is one of the most difficult ways to cum on this list, so if you’ve managed to actually accomplish it, drop me an email and let me know where your nearest high street is, so I can dispatch the marching band. Hands-free (with a sex toy) I swear on my life this is true: I knew a gentleman who once managed to come while just wearing the Hot Octopuss PULSE on his dick. Pulse on dick, pants and jeans on over the top, he turned it on and stood in the middle of his living room casually watching porn. After a mere couple of minutes he came in his pants – and I quote – “like a fucking teenager.” When he (who is in his thirties, and not used to spaffing this eagerly) told me this story, I was so hot-brain focused on the mental image of him pumping jizz inside his underwear that for a couple of seconds I think I lost the power of sight. Do this and you win every prize on the raffle stall at the village fête, plus a handshake from the Mayor. Hands-free (without a sex toy, just twitching it, I swear I saw someone doing this on cam once) This has… stayed with me. Just someone filming themselves doing their party trick: the camera framed their dick resting hard and red against their stomach, then they used their pelvic floor muscles to twitch it so the head rubbed ever-so-slightly against the soft soft skin of their tummy. After ten or fifteen minutes (I skipped forward, it wasn’t live, and I’m a busy girl), the cock started not just squirting but fully pumping cum. In great sticky rivers. If you can do this/have done this, you win a trophy and (if you’d like it) my hand in marriage. Into an object or device that you have specifically homemade for wanking purposes Health and safety first: obviously you are far better off buying a sex toy that is specifically designed for you to put your cock in (I recommend the Pulse , as above, or anything by Tenga and a bunch of other stuff on this page ). But. BUT. If you know how to make your own wank sheath out of condoms, loo roll and sticky-back plastic, then the very fact that you have gone to unnecessary levels of effort in order to get off is close to the top of the leaderboard when we’re talking about hot spaff action. So yeah. Penultimate on this list of sexy ways to cum: into an object or device that you have spent time and effort constructing, for the sole purpose of spunking inside it. This could be something as simple as a Fleshlight jammed between the sofa cushions, or as complex as anything involving a 3D printer. The hotness comes from the purpose . The goal . The effort you’ve been willing to put in to constructing something just to make your dick feel good . And although the act of masturbating with this object makes you feel seedy and ashamed… as your strokes get faster and harder and you start to pump cum… suddenly you realise… God!… this is so much better than you’d ever imagined when you packed that Pringles tube with Turkish delight! It’s so wrong but so right , so good . So! Fucking! Good! For this one, you need no medal: your victory is reward enough. Inside a sex toy The Grand Finale here is the one that combines absolutely loads of the hot things above (pushing deep into something to jizz, deliberation, making a specific purchase and going to noticeable effort to make your wank feel super-fucking-good), plus an extra… something . If I’m honest with you, this is genuinely a sprinkle of je ne sais quois . All I know is that on a statistically significant number of occasions, when I have been lucky enough to watch someone squirt their cum inside a Fleshlight or a Tenga, they’ve made this… face . Like… eyebrows slightly turned down at the outside, teeny frown line in the middle of the forehead, mouth open a bit to let out a sigh that hovers somewhere between frustration and satisfaction… followed by a glance down at the object they’ve just jizzed inside that is equal parts pity and respect. I’m just saying… that ? That’s hot on so many levels there are not yet words in English that can adequately capture what it is. For this, help yourself to nothing less than a Nobel Peace Prize. If you liked this, you might also enjoy this piece I wrote LONG LONG AGO about where to jizz at the end of a fuck. That list could do with expansion, I think. Also I promise I didn’t deliberately write this to try and make you buy wank sheaths, but if you happen to be in the market for some, there are recommendations on my sex toy page . Support my site, so I can keep the vital service that is ‘horny woman talks about spunk on the Internet’ running.